I was not planning to write a blogpost today. The objective was to revamp the website. And as I was looking at the videos on our YouTube Channel, to select what to be added to the website, I watched this video, that I recorded quite impromptu, in 2018.
I remember, I was hanging around Changi Beach that afternoon, waiting for a programme to start. I was early, because I wanted to take some time to be alone, in a space that I felt safe and felt home with. And it was by the sea. The expanse of the space, the sound of the water crashing on to the shore, has always been very comforting. And the weather was perfect.
I live in the west, so the nearest beach area is at West Coast. And even then, there is not as much space to be so near the waters as when I am in the east. Changi also serves as a place that I had a lot of good memories and fun : kayaking and powerboating. It was a space where I gained some level of competency in skills (kayaking and powerboating), that I felt I could use to contribute to community, through People's Association's Sea Sports Clubs (now known as PassionWave).
Anyway, back to the video.
As I listened to this recording, I see how much I have grown as a person. Just simply how I show up in videos itself, over these past few years. Just how much I have expanded, and regained confidence.
And yet, there is still so much that is resonating from what I said from 6 years ago. I can feel the pain I felt then, just from hearing my own voice. The journey of healing from grief and loss and hurt, is such a sobering one. And I am proud of myself for taking the courage to move, from where I was, to where I am.
I am currently grateful, to have experienced the journey when I did, so that I might be of service to those who experienced these emotions during the time of the pandemic and even after, It is through my own lived experience, that I am able to hold space so much better now, in life and in work, for those who are hurting, for those who are grieving, and for those who experience some form of loss. My distinctions around these emotions are more nuanced, and I continue to learn, through reading and reflection.
I stay true to what I say at the end of the video. My offer to journey with anyone who is in the chrysalis phase still stands. Exercise your courage, by asking for support.
About the Author
Michelle Ow is the founder and Human Experience Facilitator of Chrysalists Pte Ltd.